FORTITUDE

Having the strength to face adversity and pain with courage. That’s fortitude.

I guess I have never really had to ask myself if I had enough fortitude. I have always assumed that I had it. I know I had enough fortitude to get me through endless nights of studying as a med student, 36 hour stretches of staying awake as a resident, and the pain of realizing that I couldn’t save every patient from the ravages of disease. Fortitude got me through sleepless nights as a young mother and unforeseen personal and family crises. Is it a virtue, a practice, a belief? What is fortitude?

Regardless of how we define it, the amount of fortitude needed to conquer this pandemic, this infectious tsunami overtaking our nation, is unfathomable. It’s needed from every societal level, all the way from our governmental response , through the private sector, down to how we treat those around us.

And today, as I helplessly watch our healthcare workers risking their lives with inadequate protection and seemingly unheard pleas for help…more masks, more tests, more ventilators, more personnel…I’m realizing, we weren’t prepared. We don’t have it in time. Although this was predicted by many experts and “futuristic “ TED talks, our government chose not to listen. Instead, they chose to pour trillions into multimillion dollar planes, tanks, ships and subs…weapons much needed in wars past. An arsenal much needed to protect the courageous men and women whom have protected MY freedom and are still doing so. We have poured trillions into this “for-profit” military industry. So where is the arsenal our “troops”, our doctors and nurses and respiratory techs need to go to battle to protect themselves and us now?

We are at war with inadequate weapons, fighting a foe like never before seen in our lifetimes. And I’m realizing that we are going to have to muster up as much fortitude as we can to survive this. For many, it won’t be enough, sadly. But, we are a nation of unbelievable natural resources. The ability to show compassion, find solutions, and give true support for those around us, is there. We are facing adversity and fear and dissolution of our societal connectedness, as we have known it. It’s hard to cling to those we love when we can’t even be near them, when we have to blow kisses through the nursing home window or fear killing them with a simple hug. It’s hard to weave into our psyche. It’s hard to face the reality that we are asking our physicians and nurses and public healthcare workers to go into battle with inadequate supplies and resources , not only needed to protect those they swore to protect, but also themselves.

So, I’m thinking fortitude may be the only weapon in our personal arsenal right now. It may mean waking each day with the singular goal of staying strong and doing the right thing. The time for blame is past us. We are in survival mode now. So, if it means staying home, instead of partying or socializing with our friends, in order to diminish the height of this tidal wave overtaking our healthcare system…so be it. If it means facing months of calling, FaceTiming, emailing those we love, instead of physical contact…so be it. If it means putting the needs of others in front of our own…so be it. We’ve all lived our lives doing this already, but never in this context or with this set of rules.

But maybe that’s what fortitude is all about. It’s adapting to what is. We all have it in us. It’s what makes us human. It may be only real weapon we have to face this well predicted but unprecedented time.